ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
