Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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