i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
