cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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