Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we're making bets on your personal life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
