Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
