she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize