Umm I'm too high to move.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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