Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
