I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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