conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
