I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
