I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I cannot find my penis.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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