No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
