Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize