I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize