First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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