WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
