Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize