btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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