i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
