The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
