Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize