if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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