i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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