We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
