considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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