A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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