There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Randomize