I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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