Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
