I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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