She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
