I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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