I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
