i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
