at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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