I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
