p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
no you cant smoke seaweed
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
