Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
