i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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