I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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