It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
