I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Randomize
