Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
