Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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