The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
