I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This house was built for laser tag.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
