what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
