You're completely useless in the revolution.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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