you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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