Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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