question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
