I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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