Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
