i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
