i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
