I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
