OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
