We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
MIDGETS
????
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
