the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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