so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
