So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize