I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
